How healthy is your resume?

For my entire adult life, I have been job seeking.  Not in the active "scouring the newspaper/careerbuilder/headhunter" way, but I am always ALWAYS open and ready for the next opportunity coming my way.  I tend to do my best to never burn bridges, even if the job I leave wasn't right for me, or me for the organization....I always want to find someone who will vouch for me, or perhaps allow me my next entree.  At my current job, one of the owners is amazed that I keep in touch with people from one of my first jobs....I told her that I really feel that there's an importance in the personal connection....if there is one position open and I have worked before with "Deirdre" but the 1190 other candidates have not, the chance that my resume is really reviewed is that much better.  It only makes sense to try to find a way to get your foot in the door, and not have it slam in your face.

At 45 I still don't really know what I want to do when I grow up and I figure I have at least 25 more years of work ahead of me, so why should I be set at this moment in time?  Regardless, I have three resumes ready to go at any time, highlighting my skills in various ways for a few different industries.  If someone from Krieger College is looking for an Alumni Relations person, I have a resume for that and can prepare a cover letter and reference list pertinent to the position within 15 minutes.  If Heinz Telecom has a project manager/provisioning position open and it piques my interest, I have the same ready to go.  I have my bases covered as well in a more general "customer support/agent services" type of career path, since most, if not all, of these skills transfer, sometimes potential employers need it laid out clearly for them.  

I am amazed, though, at how lazy some people are in their professional lives...complacent, even in the face of true economic downturn and downsizing in the company that they work for.  While feeling secure in one's job is great, it is detrimental if you feel secure in a company that is actively changing around you.  Simply retaining your position or being promoted through your company for 10 years doesn't mean there is truly loyalty, and why wouldn't a person have their ducks in a row no matter how secure?? Today it's not enough to say you know the MS suite of products, have experience with Photoshop and are familiar with data base management tools.... you need to SELL yourself along with your skills -- it is also important in many fields that you have social networking/media experience and abilities.  Even companies live on the internet now....the way that you interact with others reflects in many ways with how the population will perceive THEM.  

Every day most of us find time to eat reasonably healthy meals, drink water, sleep..... How much time does it take in your life to ensure you are professionally healthy?  Why not take a few moments every few months to review your resume to reflect not only your skills, but how they fit into the needs of today's employment landscape -- how does it reflect your personal brand?   Update your  software skills, include if you have had any outside training (do you have an MSE certification?  Is Six Sigma something you are skilled in?  Process management?  HRIS?).  Ask a trusted colleague, friend, or impartial acquaintance to review it for content, errors and overall understandability, though you aren't actively job seeking.....(but i think you should always be looking....) You will be prepared even if you live with blinders on, and believe that your job is safe until you decide to move, wouldn't you feel better knowing you are prepared in case your dream job opens up?  

What are YOU doing today to change your professional outlook or prepare for your next big break?

In Passing....

As my family and friends most likely know, my grandmom, Naomi Ruth Heinz passed peacefully from this life on Sunday 1/13/2013.  She was a funny old lady, always sweet and wonderful to me, though I was a "step" grandchild and the second girl out of 9 grandchildren (7 boys, 2 girls LOL)... Never a day went by that I felt the "step" child syndrome from grand-mom or grand-pop.  She was truly a sweet woman who had great spirit, faith and energy even until the very end. 

The past week was really the end of things for her.  She had cracked some vertebrae in a fall and while in the hospital contracted pneumonia....at 93 years old, the odds really are against you recovering from such insults to your body.  In order to treat the pneumonia, she was put on a respirator and was in the ICU at Virtua Hospital in Voorhees.  Kudos to the women who tended to her (I only met women on the ICU but am sure there were men there too, but I am giving my kudos to the ladies I encountered).  Each one treated her with dignity, care and respect.  They were kind to our family, each of the four children (in their 60's/70's) who were able to see her, and to each of her grandchildren....they are truly angels of mercy, those who dedicate themselves to the treatment of the critically ill.  

On Saturday evening, 7 of 9 grandchildren (and a few great grandchildren), and three spouses were holding vigil with 4 of her children.  (Her eldest daughter, Naomi is ill and was not able to be bedside so please keep her in your prayers as she needs healing and strength)...that's 14 of us in one room on the 2nd floor ICU....quite a crowd.  We were all gowned and gloved due to increased infection control (GMom had MRSA as well)....what a sight -- we sort of resembled a tired chorale group LOL. ...we spent a good deal of the evening laughing and talking, more a celebration of the woman and what she meant to us than mourning the events that were inevitable.   Grandmom was off the ventilator and was sedated a bit, but was awake and talking to us.  She recognized and named each of us, smiling and interjecting when she was able to.  It was amazing to me, that she was so close to the end but still possessed her own self.  She held our hands, laughed a bit and even made our nurse Grace laugh...Grace was such a warm addition to our small group the end of Saturday, she asked the right questions, told GMom that she and my dad (her oldest "baby") could pass for siblings and told her she COULDN'T be 93 years old... smiles and tears were making the rounds, but I believe the overwhelming feeling was a positive one. We were connecting due to this woman, who had connected so many of us during her life. 

Gmom in July 2012 with most of her great grandchildren

My brother Christian was present when she passed through to her next adventure.  So were several other children, grandchildren and great grandchildren.  She left this world in typical Naomi style.  Her heart rate would slow down, flat line, they would start to say goodbye and tears would start, and blip, blip, blip...she's back...this happened a few times, until her youngest daughter Kathleen came back (she was calling her sister Naomi to give an update...) when Kathleen was in the room, Grandmom let go and left this realm, hopefully meeting up with her husband who passed almost 14 years ago, my mom and many other loved ones that have preceded her.  She leaves her family behind, but not without a piece of her somewhere in their hearts and minds.

For me, I will always always think of her when I see sweet n low...the bright pink packets were her favorite sweetener...no matter what else was available, Sweet n Low was what she wanted and what she'd use.   I will always remember the wedding vow renewal she had w/ Grandpop on their 50th anniversary, at the Salvation Army chapel on Allegheny Avenue.  I will always remember that she signed cards on the BACK....i don't recall why she did this but she did.  That was Grandmom.  "Hiya Honey..."  "Hiya Chrissy" "Hiya" was how she would greet you when you called (or she called you...) She always thought of her children,....even yesterday my dad was there early in the day and she asked him if he'd been working and then she said "you're tired, you need to rest" LOL  She would make sure that I sent her youngest son a Christmas card w/ pictures (I always did btw LOL) but just wanted to be sure we didn't forget him.... She was someone who really had her heart in the right place, and even if you didn't agree with her or her principals, you always knew it came from a place of love.  I am blessed to have had her in my life since I was about 5 years old.  She was someone who never judged me or treated me differently or as "less" ...she was an accepting and loving person. I remember going  downtown with her, on the El from K&A...she took me on day trips to the Betsy Ross House or other historical places, and then we'd stop at the store where she worked and get a few pieces of candy to take home.  I will always think of Grandmom and PopPop when I see pansies... they had a garden in their backyard (unbelievable since they lived near me and I had a concrete backyard - no flowers!!) and I always loved their backyard.  I will always remember eating pork roast, sauerkraut and her home made baked beans (I didn't like them but I will always remember them!!!! she used butter or lima style dried beans!)  Even at 93 she still wrote cards.  When I was ill recently, I received a get well card from her...I received a thank you note from her birthday party...she was a maniac still hand writing cards and mailing them.  I have half a mind to expect to get a "thank you for being there" card in the mail this week.  That would be spooky but not unexpected.  She had grace and spirit.  I was not the best granddaughter -- too caught up in my own world, the life of my immediate family, to really give her the time she deserved but I never felt that from her...and i will always be grateful that we could pick up where I had left off....

I am blessed to be part of her legacy, to have been loved by her and to be part of the continuing circle of life.  Her names, both first and middle/Maiden (Naomi Ruth), will always have special significance to me as they speak to biblical stories that are meaningful to me....ones of friendship, sisterhood and devotion despite obstacles.  

Rest in Peace grandmom...you are loved and you will be missed.

Fat mom to a "skinny" girl....

If you don't know me IRL, I am a large woman...I was a chubby child, and never looked back.  The last time I saw 110 lbs I was probably about 12 years old ....it is something I struggled with, tried to correct (with gastric bypass in 2005 which was relatively successful but I got pregnant with the girl and haven't looked back lol)...so I am still a plus size woman. I am comfortable with that but it's easy to be comfortable when you are 45 and tired :)

My daughter is thin...very normally and naturally lean.  My Her pediatrician says she's "perfect" size-wise -- height/weight charts indicate average for a 6 y.o. girl is 46 lbs and she is 45 lbs.  So well within "normal"....and this mom struggles with normal.   I can see her spine, i can count her ribs...she is well muscled and has 8-pack abs ... most of my life and my experience I have not been able to identify bones on MY body (nor on my older child's body --- we are both fluffy LOL) so I worry.  I want her to eat...when she says she's finished or full, I want to ask her to take another bite.  I realize in my HEAD that this is negative behavior on my part...I am asking her to NOT listen to her body, to listen to me tell her to eat when she's not hungry or has no appetite for anything.  I think about it (obviously -- i am blogging about it) almost obsessively.  I compare her to other kids, I worry that her clothes don't fit (they DON'T....size xs/4's are way too short, size s/5/6 are too too wide.... but some size s shirts are too short now too...but the next size is too big.... help!!!)
The thing that I struggle with is the my compulsion to eat compared to her lack of such a compulsion.  I spend a good part of my time making sure my fluffier child isn't upset by his being chubby...i want him to love himself no matter if he's a "regular" size or not.....I want him to identify when he feels full-ish and stop eating....i ask him to not eat another bite after he declares he's full and yet I sit there, fully a hypocrite, telling his "normal" weight sibling to eat beyond when her body says she's full.  I must stop this......

My sorority (www.dphie.org)  has been an ally with ANAD for years, since the 1980's...and I am very well aware of eating disorders (suffering from compulsive eating myself) and I know cerebrally that my behavior is dysfunctional, that I am not teaching my child to eat normally and to have a natural (non-dependent) relationship with food, but my heart is not as advanced as my mind and I worry.  It's not like she is a healthy eater either.... her typical menu:

Breakfast i can usually get her to eat half a serving of cereal (special K is her favorite right now....LOL) and orange juice.
 
Lunch: nutella on one slice of whole grain (or some other type) bread
juice pouch
gogurt natural (maybe she will eat this)
pretzels (again, maybe she will eat this, but maybe not)

Dinner: chicken nuggets - maybe if they are a brand she'll eat.  Pasta with olive paste (yes, olive paste), raviolis, french fries, maybe a cheeseburger, ketchup <-- note that ketchup is its own category and food group....NOT a side or condiment and tacos (with meat and rice!!!!!!) and quesadillas (only cheese).  

Fruit is practically nil and changes on a daily basis.  She likes cuties (clementines) she doesn't like cuties, she likes bananas, she doesn't like bananas....apples...grapes...on and on... it's like a veritable fruit Russian roulette.

I worry that my need for her to eat more will end up becoming part of her psyche...even with my knowledge that this is the case.. how do I stop this?  I am a work in progress but I don't want to push her into not trusting her own body.

thoughts?

My name is a Denise and I am a Fixer - rant

I recently created some session programming for an organization I belong to.  Part of my session dealt with being what I call a "fixer" -- something I find to be almost innate in people with XX chromosomes. {side note:  The programming and that particular organization are NOT being discussed here.  Point in fact is that I love my organization and hope to always be part of it...the posting below does not relate to it, or anything or anyone involved with it. }

If I see something that doesn't look "quite right" or isn't running up to par (in MY opinion) my first thought is to create a way to fix it...make it work better, smoother, communicate more openly and honestly.

Forget the fact that most people, organizations and corporations don't really need me to fix what's not really broken in their minds.... I am like Don Quixote, tilting at the proverbial windmill, though the windmills I choose are local non-profit/educational/sporting organizations who really could USE Don Quixote's magic touch, or at least Dona Denise's....

There should be a 12 step program for Fixers.  Fixers' Anonymous (or is that Fixer's Anonymous??) In no way do I want to take away from the success and true positive impact 12 step programs have (AA, OA, etc) but I truly believe that Fixers need help.


My name is Denise and I am a fixer.....

The worst part about me, as a Fixer, is I know I am right.  I know how to help the institution find their way...I know how to engage volunteers, I know how to SUPPORT constituents. better still I have personal friends and acquaintances who are SPECTACULAR at building and supporting this type of organization and can get some effective ideas/suggestion/guidance from them FREE OF CHARGE...but if the group/s don't want help they won't take it....and in fact they will rebuff the offer of FREE help...until this fixer is pissed off.

You do not want a pissed off  Fixer.... all that energy that was spent on finding a way to improve the organization is now turned toward proving (or communicating the already proven facts of) how shitty the organization is.  With this particular institution there isn't much additional proof necessary: The paid staff is relatively ineffective, the executive level volunteers are essentially useless..there is not one galvanizing force on either side of the leadership....i use leadership here to demonstrate the people "chosen" to lead, not truly people who are leading.  Volunteers are rebuffed and the best way the group thinks to try to engage parents/volunteers/others is by complaining that no one is involved, no one wants to come to meetings, no one wants to support the organization....and yet they rebuff at least three active, intelligent, supportive, experienced volunteers.  

Way to go and lead your institute!  GREAT JOB!!!  Keep reaching for mediocrity and you might get there some day...with lots of hope, no strategic planning and absolutely no communicated plan for growth!